Don't Blink

It feels like the last post I wrote was just yesterday. But if I believed what I felt, I would be very wrong. Since the last post, we made our trip down to Louisiana, saw a beautiful friend from High School, had our Christmas with my husband's family, came home, had Christmas with my family, and now it is all over.

When I was younger my mawmaw would tell me the older you get, the faster time goes by. It was always just something she said to me until a few years ago. Now it seems by the time I get a grip on whatever season it is, it's over. And I have a sneaky little feeling once our precious Kendall gets here, it will only speed up more!

We had such a great time in Louisiana! There is never a dull moment when we are down there! Jeff has one niece and six nephews. With those boys, there is always something going on. But we enjoy it! Not only do we enjoy the kids, but I love spending time with Jeff's sister and brother and sister-in-law. And is if all of them aren't good enough, we get to stay with his amazing parents! And beyond the good company, there is also soo much good food! I am so lucky to have married into the wonderful family I did! There are no words to describe just how great they all are!

The youngest of all the nephews is Mason, who is four. Just saying he is a funny kid doesn't even begin to describe this precious kid! The first night I saw him, he pointed to my belly and said, "Is the baby in that thing?" It took all I had to keep a straight face just so I could answer him. After he realized the baby was in fact in my belly, he proceeded to tell me how the doctor would get the baby out of me.
"That doctor is gonna get a knife, and cut you open, and pull that baby out!!"
Precious! I so desperately wanted to say "I sure hope not!", but I didn't want his momma to have to explain how else the baby would get out. Then later at dinner, he asked what we were going to name the baby. After someone answered him, I heard him say, "What's a Kendall?" Then a few minutes later, I heard him repeating to someone else, "That doctor is gonna get a knife and cut aunt Jennifer open, pull the baby out and wash it and give it to her!" He was so funny!

I just can't wait to see how all the boys react to having a girl cousin around!!

It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas

I can't believe it is already this time of year again! I know they say the older you get the faster time goes, and I guess they are right. We leave in less than one week for our Christmas week in Louisiana! I can't believe it!

We have already had our church Christmas program. Our tree has been up for close to a month, and now there are presents piled under and around it. And on top of all that, it has been so COLD! The colder it gets, the more it feels like Christmas. There was even a little snow on the ground this morning as I drove to church. The beautiful lights are up everywhere so as soon as the sun goes down, everything looks magical as all the lights twinkle.

I've always loved this time of year. I love everything about it. I love the music. I love the red cups at Starbucks. I love buying gifts. I love wrapping gifts. I love spending time with friends and family. I love everything being decorated. I love the optimisim in everyone this time of year.

Although I love Christmas and all it brings, I find myself less excited about the holiday this year. Don't get me wrong, I am excited for Christmas and time with the family. However, I find myself more excited about the little girl dwelling in my belly. Even though it is Christmas time, my thoughts a less consumed with jingling bells, winter wonderlands, and reindeer and a lot more consumed with Kendall Marie. I long for the day when I finally get to hold my sweet little girl in my arms. I can't wait to see the gleam in her daddy's eyes when he gets to hold the little fingers he is already so tightly wound around.

I'm excited for Christmas, but not matter how much I sound like Scrooge when I say this: I'm even more excited for Christmas to be over. For when Christmas is over, I will be a few days closer to meeting our sweet Kendall Marie Welch!

New Discoveries

Since the beginning of August, when I found out I was pregnant, I have learned a lot of new things. Not only have I learned new things, I have re-learned things I have known for quite some time. Some of them were during the first couple of months of being pregnant and some have come to me just in the past week. If being pregnant changes me this much, I can not imagine how much I will change once I actually have Kendall in my arms.

One thing I learned seems so simple when just saying it, and kind of obvious, but it is a lot to chew on. The minute I looked down at the pregnancy test and saw it was positive I realized my life is never going to be the same. My body is no longer just mine. I share oxygen, food, energy, sleep, everything with my growing child. When my nine months of carrying her are up, my life will not go back to normal. Although I will still have some selfish tendancies, Kendall will always come before me. Some of what I'm saying may leave some of you thinking, "Well, duh..", it is still kind of crazy. To me anyway.

One thing I re-learned, is I love to cook! I think this one came from all the different cravings I have had and my new kitchen! The kitchen in the house we bought is beautiful! I love it! And the cabinets aren't too close to the counter, which makes me happy cause I can finally leave my KitchenAid stand mixer out! Previously, I had to drag it out of the pantry everytime I wanted to use it. But now it's always out! So exciting to me! So pretty soon some of my posts may be sharing new recipes I love!

Another thing I've learned, well I guess I knew this, but I have gained a deeper understanding about God's love and His plans. I can NOT understand how any woman could ever go through pregnancy and not believe in a God who has sovereign control over everything and everyone. Over the past six months, I have done nothing extraordinary, yet there is a new life, a new human being growing inside me! The day we had our ultrasound to find out if we were having a girl or boy, I was laying on the table watching the tv above me showing our child. The very second I saw the spine of our unborn child, my eyes began to well with tears. All I could think in my head was the lyrics to the song, "How great is Our God!" Seeing those tiny vertebra just made me realize how beautiful life is. How beautiful Our God is! How wonderful and deep is His love that He allows a sinner like me to experience a glimpse of his power and love!! I know throughout my life I have made too many mistakes, but thankfully God's grace is sufficient for me! I'm so grateful He has allowed me to experience pregnancy within the walls of marriage just as he intended.

Another thing I have learned is I'm not just excited to be a mother to Kendall. There are no words to describe how excited I am to see my Jeffy be a daddy to Kendall. I love that man more than words can describe. And just through this pregnancy I have learned I am going to love that man even more once I get to see him hold his baby girl in his arms!

One thing I re-learned is I love me a cherry ICEE and candy!!!! I have given up my starbucks addiction for an addiction to Candy Craze and cherry icees!!
Speaking of candy, that reminds me! I have some very cherry Jelly Belly beans waiting on me!

(Sorry if this post is long, random, or just plain weird. I'm trying to get back to blogging mode! (: )

I almost forgot how to blog!

Wow! It has been a very long time since I posted anything! Sooo much has changed in my life since I last wrote. I can't even count how many times I have thought, "Oh I should blog today!" and then, of course, not followed through. The title of my page is "A day in Jenn Jenn's shoes..". Well it seems recently those shoes have changed from something cute and comfortable matching the outfit of the day to running shoes. And boy have these running shoes taken me down some roads I wasn't necessarily expecting!

Since the last time I blogged, I have found out I am pregnant (which now I'm 6 months pregnant!), and Jeffy and I bought a house! It has been crazy around here the past few months! But everything has been exciting! We are so excited to start our family in our home. I am the most excited about seeing Jeff as a daddy to our baby girl! He is going to be so wonderful! Kendall Marie, isn't even born yet, and she has already begun wrapping her daddy around her precious little fingers!

Hopefully, in the next few months I will be doing more resting while we wait for the arrival for our little one! And maybe the rest will provide more down time for me to sit down and blog so I can fill you in on all that has happend since June and all that is happening in our busy life now!

We Wear Short Shorts

Over the past five years, I have done a lot of changing in a lot of areas of my life. One area, which I am still by no means perfect in, I changed a lot is the way I dressed. I knew it wasn't good to dress so scandalous, but being the stubborn girl I was, I wore short skirts and other things I would probably not wear today.

I think getting married helped me finally open my eyes a lot. Well maybe it wasn't getting married, maybe it was just meeting my Jeffy. Let me preface all this by saying, I am a very lucky woman to be married to a man who I can trust at all times. However, by meeting him, I realized why it was important to dress more conservatively than I did when I was younger. I did not realize when I was living in my own little selfish world that not only may I be causing guys my age to struggle, but the way I dressed may cause any man anywhere to struggle. After meeting Jeffy, I didn't want to even see girls in public wearing shorts where the longest part of them are the pockets hanging out the bottom. It would disgust me to think the way other girls we don't know walking around in public could cause men, not just Jeffy, but other married men, and daddies everywhere to struggle.

Tonight, we played cards with some friends in Starbucks. A girl walked in with a super short skirt on. I kind of grumbled, but I got over it. Until I turned around a few minutes later. What I caught a glimpse of should have had a censored sign over it. I mean seriously, is it necessary to share your goodies with everyone? Uhhh no. So because five years ago that girl could have been me, I know I owe some apologies. (Not that all the people I owe apologies to will ever read this, but...) To the men, I may have caused to struggle because of how I dressed, I am so sorry. And to all the wives, girlfriends, or mothers of any men I caused to stumble because of how I dressed, I am also sorry to you too.

As we left Starbucks, I was ranting to Jeff. He asked me what the problem was if I trust him. It made me think, I don't really know. It is just annoying. So I figured this was as good a place to vent as any! :)

Head Trama

I have never really had a lot of coordination or common sense for that matter. But lately, it seems whatever stash of coordination I once had has disappeared. In the past week, the things I seem to have gotten myself into have even left me shocked.

This past weekend, Jeffy and I went to Branson with some of our friends from Louisiana. On Saturday night, we stayed in a condo. It was only one bedroom, but the living area had a fold out couch. It was a pretty spacious condo so we all had plenty of room. The bathroom in this condo was also very spacious. The toilet was in it's own little corridor. On the wall next to the toilet, there was a handicap rail. About a foot above that rail, was a towel rack. Not only was the towel rack a foot above the other rail, it was also a foot more inward than the rail. I don't know how clear of a picture this paints for you, but let me just say the way the rail and towel rack were hung made it nearly impossible for someone to hit their head on the towel rack. Unless that someone were me. I have no clue how it happened, but somehow I managed to hit my head on the top towel rack. How one would manage to do that is a mystery to me! Jeffy and our friend, Critter, from Louisiana had no explanation as to how I managed to hit my head other than the fact I once was a Talley. Seriously, a week later, my head is still sore!

As if that blow to the head wasn't enough, Tuesday I hit my head again! I was in a hurry, now I can't even remember the reason for the hurry, and I needed gas really bad. I stopped at the nearest gas station to put five dollars in my car. Apparently, I got so excited to get back into my new car, I quit thinking. As I was leaning down to get into the car, I didn't lean down enough. I hit my head so hard on the top of my car that it not only made me yell, but it knocked my hat off of my head!

I'm so sure one day, I will make it through a whole day without either hitting my head or doing something that can only be described as 'ridiculously blonde'. However, I will not hold my breath waiting for this one day!

A Challenge

Being both very determined and very stubborn, I am (almost) always ready for a challenge. For as long as I can remember, telling me I can't do something was just a way to speed up the process of me doing what I "can't". Recently, I feel God has been working in my life to present me with challenges. And I can honestly say, it is very refreshing.

Being raised in a Christian home, I don't ever remember a time where I didn't know I belonged to a God who had unconditional love for me, and there was nothing I can do to change it. I am so incredibly grateful I was raised in a home where I can claim the previous statement. Lately, through the challenges I have been presented with, I have began to wonder if maybe I had taken for granted the love the Creator of all things has for me.

About six weeks ago, I began reading CrazyLove by Francis Chan. If you are content with your relationship with God and have no desire to grow in Him, don't pick up this book. This book is full of truths I have known most of my life, however, it presents them in such a way I have found myself re-evaluating not only my love for God but my love for others. The chapters I have read so far leave me with a desire to analyze every aspect of my life. To say this book has challenged me to live in response to my love for my Savior is an understatement.

As if the book isn't enough, I have recently found myself challenged simply by the people in my life. Reading others' blogs and listening to them has opened my eyes to so many different things. I love that God continues to speak to me through different outlets, and outlets which continually grab my attention. I am lucky enough to be surrounded with Christians who truly love and live for God. I have so many friends who challenge me to grow just by the way they live their lives.

However much I may enjoy a good challenge, I am looking forward to a day when my relationship with God won't need challenging because I will have new eyes to be able to know and see my King for all that He is! What a day that will be!

THAT day

Well today was a strange day...

When I woke up this morning, I thought I was in a good mood. I got ready for work like normal, went to starbucks like normal, then headed to the store like normal. But I guess that was where the normality ended.

First, I couldn't get the door unlocked. I felt like a bona fide blonde. After struggling for about 5 minutes, I finally gave up and asked a lady walking by to help me. I figured, 'Oh, she's a woman. She will smile and have sympathy.' Apparently, I thought wrong. She did help. However, there was no smile and absolutely no sympathy. Instead, she looked at me with eyes that accused me of being the blonde I am. How dare she?!

When I got settled and sat down at the computer, I finally realized I wasn't in that good of a mood after all. So I thought maybe a little facebook would cheer me up. Wrong again. I have a friend who just recently had a baby, actually I thought she had the baby just a few days ago. But today her status said her baby was a month old. I am not exactly sure why, but for some reason reading that post made me cry. And then it hit me; I was having THAT day!

You know... THAT day when you have no reason to cry, but it would just feel so good.
THAT day when you seem to be happy-ish, but all you want to do is go back to sleep. THAT day when you have a chance to go to a free concert of two people you really like, but you can't seem to push away the desire to take a nap. THAT day when everything inside the kitchen makes your mouth water, but you have already eaten too much.

Lucky for me, THAT day is almost over. Hopefully, tomorrow when I wake up, I will either not feel like crying or have a reason to cry!

Happy Memorial Day!

This four day weekend I discovered...

-I love the show 'Flip That House'. It makes me want to use all my creative juices.

-For the first time since about eighth or ninth grade, it is almost June and I am not tan at all.

-You just can NOT speak patience into existence.

-I have a terrible memory.

-I like having people over to our house.

-I miss Jeffy's family a lot!

-If I want to use the new golf clubs I got for Christmas, I'm going to have to make a plan to go golfing myself instead of waiting for my husband to take me.

-Afternoon naps are great, and boy, have I missed them!!!

Random

1. I really want to see the new movies Knight and Day and Killers! They look so funny!

2. I'm so disgusted with Starbucks. (<-- This doesn't happen often. They put creamer in my coffee when I said, "NO creamer please." Don't they know milk anything makes me so sick lately? They should! I go there at least 4 times a week!)

3. Curtis Payne is one of my most favorite TV characters. He just makes me laugh really hard!

4. I started reading a Beth Moore book, and I can hear every word I'm reading in her voice.

5. I'm also reading CrazyLove, and the way it defines stress and worry really got to me. I'm so thankful for the way God speaks to us through all of His people.

6. I don't know why, but I love that movie Avatar!!

7. And I again I don't know why, but God gave me the BEST husband ever!! Tuesday, he made me feel like I was the most important person who ever walked the planet. He got off work early and brought me breakfast in bed. Then, after I got ready, we went to Springdale to get my new car!!!! ( Its a white 2006 nissan altima! I love it! ) After we got the car, we went down to Fayetteville so we could eat at Qdoba!! It's my favorite!! After Qdoba, we came back to Rogers and went to see Iron Man 2! After Iron Man 2, he took me shopping at Old Navy and Belk. Then after shopping, he took me to get ice cream. When we got home from getting ice cream, my momma was here waiting for a ride in my new car! So I took her for a ride and when we got back, the three of us went to Lifeway then TJ Maxx. And then went to dinner at Red Robin! Yummm! While we were at Red Robin, Jeff got a phone call reminding him of his softball games for the night, he had forgotten about! So my mom and I got to spend some time together, just the two of us! It was such a great day!!!!

Oh the tears...

So for the past year and a half, because of my many health problems I have had an IUD. Although most doctors don't recommend it for women who haven't had children yet, my doctor felt it would benefit me. And it did! However, Jeffy and I have decided we want to start our family. So a few weeks ago, I had it removed. This was the first time in over 5 years I have been off of birth control... I had no idea what this really meant.

I think I had forgotten supersonic speed mood swings, back pains, cramps and all the other wonderful things that accompany mother nature's monthly gift to women. I think I have cried more in the past month than I have in the past two years combined. During the season finale of Grey's, my husband had to pause the show to remind me these people weren't real. (Although, I heard this particular episode had the same effect on people who were not experiencing the same things I am.) I think I may have cried so much for no reason, it may have rubbed off on my four year old niece. After spending the morning around me on Saturday, she had a bad afternoon where she cried for a good thirty minutes. After a while, my older sister asked her why she was crying. To which she responded, "I don't know, mom. I just need a hug." Oopsie.
Today the tears got to be so much, my precious husband (who tends to be extremely patient with me) actually threatened to take me back to the doctor to get the IUD put back in.

All of this to say, pray for those around me. It may be a long nine months (plus however long it takes to get to those nine months!) for all the loving people who so graciously surround me!

Murder at 1600

This specific blog has been a long time coming, but I thought it only fair to wait until the wrong had been made right before I wrote about it...

A few weeks after my precious husband proposed to me, he bought me an iPhone. He said he knew I would be on his cell plan eventually anyway, so one weekend he bought it for me. For anyone who knows my history with cell phones, they also know this was a very brave purchase on Jeffy's part. Once I actually flushed an entire cell phone down the toilet. That's right. Not just dropped it in the toilet, but actually flushed it! So having an iPhone was a very big deal to me!

I knew I was going to have to be more careful than I ever dreamed with this phone. And I did so good! I had the phone for a year and a half before I ever had any catastrophe with it! Within two weeks of having an iPhone, I (like most people who own one) became so dependent on it. I had no idea how much I actually used it for. One Sunday afternoon, I had to go to the grocery store to pick up some things for dinner. When I got home, I hopped out of the car. Until I heard it hit the ground, I had forgotten I put my phone in my lap when I sat down. When I picked the phone up off of the garage floor, my heart jumped right up into my throat. The bottom left corner of the phone was shattered.

I hadn't felt that feeling in such a long time. It was the feeling I would get as a teenager when I knew I was caught, and I was just waiting to see how severe the sentencing would be. When I came in Jeffy was asleep. So I woke him just enough to say, "I have something to tell you. Do you want to know now or when you wake up?"

As he rolled over, he grunted, "What?"

So I told him what happened. He simply shrugged his shoulders and said, "It isn't my phone."

So like any girl, I crawled in bed to ball my eyes out. After he realized how upset I was, he rolled over and comforted me. We analyzed the phone and realized we could put a screen cover over it, and it would work until my upgrade in April. It was only the bottom so it didn't mess up much of the screen. So we just put a screen protector over it, and it worked fine. I was just glad I still had a working iPhone. I could handle the bottom of the screen being messed up for a couple more months.

Even though I could handle the bottom of the screen being messed up, apparently, Jeffy couldn’t. The following Wednesday, he informed me he had bought the parts to fix the phone off of ebay. I quickly released the nagging wife inside of me and demanded he cancel the order. He told me he wanted to fix it so when I did get my new phone we could sell the ‘broken but fixed’ one. I told him it was unnecessary and to cancel the order and quickly changed the subject.

The following Sunday was Super Bowl Sunday. We had offered to host our Sunday school class Super Bowl watch party, so I was cleaning house when Jeffy came in from work. As he walked in, he was grinning from ear to ear. He had received the parts I asked him not to order in to fix my phone. So I grunted and mumbled while handing over the phone for what he assured me ‘wouldn’t take that long because there was an instructional video on you-tube’. Great. Just great. But at this point, what could I do other than finish cleaning house and cooking?

The next two to three hours consisted of mumbled grunting under his breath. With every “crap” and “oh no”, the tone of his voice got angrier than the one before. Because we would have company in our house soon, I tried not to focus on anything he was saying or doing. Unfortunately, I was unable to avoid it much longer. I was just about to sit down, when I saw him grab his keys and storm out of the house. I could tell he was upset, so I decided I would leave him alone and call him in a few minutes to see what he was doing. It took me all of five seconds to realize I would not be calling him, because he had MY phone!

About twenty minutes later, he comes in with a twenty dollar go phone the size of a twinkie. For a person with a temper as outrageous as mine, I handled the next thirty minutes very well. Our conversation went a little something like this…

“What is that!?” I asked him.

“A phone for you to use until your upgrade!”

“JIGGA WHAT?!?!”

“Well, the video wasn’t very clear on which parts to pry apart!”

As he began to get the fireplace ready to start a fire before company arrived, he was still complaining and moaning. I quickly informed him there were only two things he could do with this situation.

1.Get over it! You still have YOUR iPhone and I am the one with the microscopic cell phone! Company would be arriving soon, so GET GLAD!
2.When your wife tells you to do something or in this case, NOT to do something, FOLLOW HER INSTRUCTIONS!

So since Super Bowl Sunday, I have been pestering my husband about murdering my iPhone. And in all honesty, I may nag him about it for the rest of our lives. But I feel it is only fair for me to post this story now since I now have an iPhone in my possession! Oh happy day!

Maybe she's born with it; Maybe it's not worth it if she isn't!

The more I think about it, the more I realize I HATE makeup.

Seriously, I just wish I could spend a few minutes with the person who decided women should wear make up on a daily basis, or even at all for that matter! Does it make some people look better? Yes. But we wouldn't know what we were missing if someone had never invented it. I really just feel makeup and the whole makeup process is flawed.

1. We pay for bottles or gunk to cover our pimples. This gunk occasionally gets clogged in pores which causes pimples. So why not avoid the whole thing to begin with?!
2. Again, we PAY for this stuff to make us look 'pretty'. But most of the time, whatever it is we want to get 'pretty' for, isn't right outside of our bathroom mirror. So by the time we get to whatever it is requiring makeup, it doesn't even look the same as it did to begin with.
3. The same makeup we spend time putting on has to come off of our face before we go to bed. So we spend time and money to put makeup on our face that in just a few hours has to be washed off!

It is so frustrating to me!!!! I think the reason it is so frustrating to me is because I can't seem to make myself quit wearing it. As much as I complain about it, you would think I wouldn't wear it. But I do! Mostly because everytime I say to myself, "Self, we are through! No more wearing makeup!", I see some gorgeous, makeup wearing, woman walk by making me want to hide my face. It's a terrible cycle!

I am also fully aware of the fact there are some women who LOVE makeup. I know they love everything about it. But they can write about how much they love it on their blog, and I will write this on mine. :)

Learning Something New

It never ceases to amaze me how true the following statement is, "You learn something new everyday." I have known this for a long time now, but sometimes I think I get suprised by the things I'm learning. Let me give you an example.

Today, I kept a very close eye on my husband. Things have been kind of crazy in our house lately, and as a worrying wife, I felt it was my duty to make sure he was okay. The more I watched him, the more I learned.

I have known for just a few weeks shy of two years, my husband is an amazing man. But today as I watched and analyzed, it blew my mind. The man is so incredibly loving, forgiving, concerned, protective, gentle, genuine, and I could go on and on and on. I have loved that man for a good while now, but I am stunned at how I continue to fall deeper in love with him on a daily basis.

So today, I learned, not only is he an amazing person, he loves and lives with the most amazing heart I have ever seen. Which basically makes me the luckiest girl in the world! :)

I'm a weird person, which I am sure comes as no suprise. (The previous statement will act as an advance warning to tell you this blog entry may seem a bit strange.)

I'm a logical thinker. I don't like to say things I don't mean. I like to know everything about a situation before acting. I also extremely dislike lying or anything that may be proven untrue at any moment.

I've had a very long week. I have said several statements today causing me to question whether I really meant it or not. So as I sat down at the computer, I decided to visit good ole dictionary.com. Some of the definitions I found reminded me of a quote from Dr. Suess's character, Horton : "I said what I meant, and I meant what I said..."

First, I said, "I am so full of frustration."

Frustration- a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems.

So yes, yes I am.


Second, I said, "I am just so done."

Done- worn out; exhausted; used up.

Yep, that pretty much explains it.


Finally, "I'm just emotionally spent."

Spent- tired; worn-out; exhausted.

Seeing as the last is almost exactly the same as the second, I think it is safe to say it is true.


After all my super in-depth research, I think it is safe for me to say these three things and be completely assured 'I said what I meant, and I meant what I said.'

Memaw

There are so many people in my life I adore. There are so many people in my life I strive to be like. There are so many people in my life I respect. There are so many people in my life considered to be 'my favorite'. But there are three women sitting at the top of every good list I have. No matter what is going on in my life or theirs, they constantly shape my daily life. Whether they know it or not, my momma, my mawmaw, and my memaw made me the Jenn Jenn I am today.

I am more like these three women than I could ever tell you. I could write a million blogs, and never come close to describing the relationship I have with each of these beautiful women. They are thoughtful, kind, loving, gentle, talented, smart, beautiful, funny, and the list could continue for days. Each of them hold a very special place in my heart. Hopefully, at some point, I will be able to write about each of them on separately to explain the amazing qualities each of these women contain, as well as, the impact they have had on my life.

Today, I spent some time with my favorite group of old ladies. You may remember a story I told you about Julia and Claire from the last time I met with them. Each month when we meet, I walk away with a huge grin on my face and plenty of stories to tell. This group of women consists of eighteen-twenty ladies. The ages of our group range from 90 something to 23. I, of course, am the 23 year-old. The next youngest after me is in her late 50's. This is one of my most favorite crowds, because they tell the best stories and spend as much time at the doctor as I do.

At our meeting today, as we stood to open our meeting in prayer, every time we recited a word, I heard a little poot. It took every ounce of self control I have to keep from letting my giggles escape. Not only because I'm still immature and laugh at 'natural body noises', but because there was a poot to accompany the first syllable of every word of The Lord's Prayer.

After the prayer, we sat down, and I tried to remain composed. Right when I was about to reach the composed mark, I remembered a story from my memaw.....

She told it like this:

"Oh Jenn! I was in North Carolina visiting your uncle, and oh I embarrassed your cousin. While your uncle was at work, your cousin and I went shopping downtown. As we were walking down the sidewalk, I tripped over a piece of broken concrete. And when I hit that dern piece of concrete, every step I took pushed me a little further to the ground until your cousin grabbed a hold of my arm. And as if that wasn't embarrassing enough, with every step I took, I pooted. I had those dern walking farts as I tripped down the sidewalk! I thought your cousin was just gonna die!"

I hope, after reading this, you understand why I had a hard time containing my giggles.

And just in case you are wondering, my memaw probably won't kill me for writing this where other people can read it, simply because she is where my momma and I obtained our audacity.

Sweet-n-low

As some of you know, I have a starbucks addiction I battle every now and again. I can proudly say over the past year, it has gotten better. Maybe the main reason I feel it has improved is because my new drink of choice is at least two dollars cheaper than a caramel macchiato with an extra shot. Now, I just get coffee with caramel and a sweet-n-low. This new drink is so easily imitated. I can get the same thing at McDonalds for one dollar or even cheaper at a gas station. The only problem I seem to run into is not every place has sweet-n-low. This is so strange to me. Then again, sweet-n-low and I go way back.......

(As soon as my husband reads this blog, he will probably say, "I wouldn't have told anyone that...")

When I was in the seventh or eighth grade, my older sister and I helped a lady who went to our church with her wedding catering business. She would decorate the tables, bake the cake, and provide several different kinds of food. I don't really remember what all I did to help, but I remember thinking it would be so much more fun if there were such a thing as cute, comfortable shoes.

One particular wedding we helped with was about 30 minutes from the town we lived in. I don't remember too many details of the wedding. But I do remember as it got closer to time the wedding was to start, there were only a few things left to do before guests arrived. One of the last tasks was setting up the table with the coffee. To help with the final table, I was asked to put the sugar, sweet-n-low, and equal in a white glass bowl.

I was almost finished putting them all in the bowl, when I began to think. I could not figure out how people were going to be able to tell the difference between the three. So I asked the other ladies in the kitchen with me. In response to my question a lady answered by telling me each packet was a different color. I told her I understood that, but all the individual crystals were white. I had opened each packet and poured them into the bowl. Oops.

After that special incident, I was known as 'sweet-n-low' to several ladies working the same wedding.

Easter

I can't believe it has been almost a week, and I haven't written about my Easter!It was so busy, but so wonderful!

It was such a beautiful day! As I look back on the whole day now, I'm overwhelmed by the presence of God in my life. Not only do I attend a wonderful church, but I have a wonderful church family who I love to worship with. Not only was I able to worship with my family in one service, but I was lucky enough to worship with my family in all three services. It was such a wonderful day, with a wonderful family, worshipping a wonderful God!

And after church, I hosted my very first holiday family meal! It was so good! There were eleven people at our house. Everyone from my side of the family was here. My sisters (and my older sister's boyfriend), my niece, my parents, and my grandparents joined me, my husband, and our nephew for lunch! I was so excited to get to cook for everyone. Recently, I have discovered I love to cook, and I felt Easter would be a wonderful time for me to share all my new favorite recipes! We had grilled chicken, some plain ( and by plain I mean Jeffy mixed seasonings to marinate them in) and some bbq ( I make my own bbq sauce, and I must say it is very good!). We also had sausage grilled in bbq sauce, ranch roasted potatoes, creamy brocolli and cheese, macaroni and cheese for KayKay, and rolls. For dessert, I made blueberry cheesecake bars, lemonade pie, and my mom brought a pineapple upside down cake. If success from a dinner is measured by how many people left the table groaning because they ate too much, my first holiday meal was a definite success!

It was such a wonderful day! I hope all of you had a wonderful easter as well!

It's Here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baseball season is my most favorite season of all!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE it! And it isn't just Major Leagues I love. I love high school baseball, because I usually know the players. I love college baseball, because I love the sound of the ball hitting an aluminum bat (not to mention the Tigers and the Razorbacks). This year, I love the Cal Ripken League in Bentonville, because my nephew is playing in it. And finally, I love Major Leagues, because it's MLB! Duh!

So here is the 411 on my MLB preferences:

My Favs are: (in order starting with most fav) New York Yankees, St. Louis Cardinals, Texas Rangers, Atlanta Braves

The teams which cause me to throw up in my mouth are: Boston Red Sox, Houston Astros, Chicago Cubs

Honestly, I could talk all day about why my favorites are my favorites and why those three 'unmentionables' make me throw up in my mouth. I mean this is something I am very passionate about. Also, my absolute most favorite day of the year is always the day of the Home Run Derby! I stinking love the Home Run Derby!

So I have been waiting since my nephew tried out for his league to find out what team he would be on so I can make tshirts and a wreath for my door and all that good stuff. Finally, earlier in the week, we found out what his team would be. From across the living room, I hear my husband mumble, "Oh no..." So at that moment, I knew I wasn't going to like the next think he would say. He proceeded to tell me this year our nephew's league would use MLB teams. And naturally our nephew is on the Cubs. There are no words to describe how low my heart sank when I heard my husband.

Of all the teams, my nephew would end up on one of those 'unmentionable' teams. Of course, because that is just how my life goes...

Open Mouth. Insert Foot.

Around our house, we constantly battle our toilets. By we, I mean my husband and nephew. You can almost bet every time they spend more than five minutes in the restroom, you had better find the plunger. I like to joke about it, but I have to admit – when I feel Crohn’s coming on, I don’t want to spend time on a toilet already clogged.

After a lot of taunting and teasing around the house, I began to see the root of the problem. Because I have Crohn’s disease, I spend a lot of time bonding with toilet paper. So after a few years of Crohn’s disease, I only want soft toilet paper. Unfortunately, most soft toilet paper is thick. This fact has never been a problem for me. I’ve never had issues with the toilets in this house. However, the boys just can’t seem to win the battle with the toilet. I finally realized they were using a whole roll every time they go!

Of course, like a man, they both say they don’t use that much. Okay. I believe you. 
A few days after this brilliant discovery, I go to put my hair in a ponytail before going out for breakfast. As I walk in to the bathroom, Jeff is finishing his morning business. As I finish my hair, I turn around and see my husband pulling half a roll off the paper!

In shock, I yell, “Jeff, that’s a ton of toilet paper!”

In response, he yells back, “You’re a ton!”

Wow. Just what every woman wants to hear from their husband when they have been awake a whole ten minutes.

Open Mouth. Insert Foot.

Here am I

Pretty sure everyone who doesn't live in a shell knows there was an earthquake in Haiti in January. When the earthquake happend, our church sent a team of doctors and nurses down to help. As soon as I heard about the trip, I told my mom I wanted to go. Even though I wanted to go, I knew there were people who could go who could give more at the time than I could. Being a super emotional, tender-hearted person, I also knew it may not be the best idea for me to go to a place where so many were hurting. I was sure I would spend the week I got back crying my eyes out, because I couldn't bring everyone home with me. On top of all the emotions, I also thought it may not be the best thing for my health to go out of the country to a place where so many diseases were everywhere.

After realizing all this, my husband and I decided to donate money to the team that went. Even though it has been over two months, I still think about Haiti often. I try not to look at pictures and articles, because it only made me sad. Still thinking there wasn't much I could do, I just continued to pray for the teams going to Haiti.

Last week, our Sunday School teacher was able to go on a trip to Haiti. Sunday morning, he showed us his pictures and told us about his trip. Through his pictures, I was able to see so many children who were so thirsty for love and attention. Sitting in Sunday School, God began to change my heart and show some things to me.

My health isn't great. But my God is. If He wants me in Haiti, my health is not an issue. I may be a little scared to expose me and my lack of immune system to a place where conditions aren't so great. But I'm even more scared to ignore the calling of a Heavenly Father who holds His children in His hands.

I'm not a doctor, nurse, or pharmacist. I may not be able to provide much of any Haitian physical needs. But I know the unconditional love of an Almighty God, and that can satisfy the emotional needs of many. If anything can give hope to people in need, it's God's love. His love just happens to be one thing I know about and one thing I can show to others. Therefore, it would not be a waste for me to go to Haiti.

If I'm good at anything, it is loving. I had heard it wasn't the best idea to hug on the kids, because of the diseases they may carry. But when thinking about this, God laid something on my heart. If I hug a child, and I contract a disease they carry, so what? At least on more child was able to experience a love they didn't deserve, just like I did when I met my Father. At least I will come back to a country where medicines and doctors aren't hard to find. If a disease isn't curable, at least I was following the commands of our Lord when He said, "Love one another." I can't be sitting here worrying about how it will effect my quality of life, if I love on another person who needs it.

In Isaiah God asks, "Whom shall I send? And will go for us?"

To that I say, "Here am I. Send me!"

Who knew?

I can't believe it is almost Friday. I feel like all I accomplished this week was minimal cleaning. And I say minimal, because whatever I clean will be unclean within 3 hours.

I was raised with two sisters. So until I got married, the only male I ever cleaned after was my daddy. And unlike most men, my daddy is a very clean person. I had no idea how big of a blessing it was to learn to clean house and do chores where only girls lived until I started cleaning after my husband, our nephew, and our two boy dogs. My goodness the males species is messy! I don't understand it. I can not get my mind to comprehend the drastic difference in cleanliness between men and women.

This week, I have cleaned the hardwood floors in our house three times! THREE! It's only Thursday!I park in the same garage, and my shoes never track the red dirt I see on the floor!

I clean the kitchen, wait for the next stomach to growl and clean it again. As soon as the dishes are clean, I unload the dishwasher. No less than an hour later, there will be dirty dishes in the sink. Is it too much to reach a little lower than the sink to open the dishwasher and put it in there? The automatic response when I ask this is, "Well, I never know if the dishes are dirty or clean!" To this I say two things: 1) Open the dishwasher and look! 2) The screen on the dishwasher has an arrow next to the word 'clean' and 'sanitized', if the arrow is red, they are clean. If the arrow is black, they are dirty! Duh......

This is the one that really makes my head spin....the toilet. After cleaning both toilets on Tuesday, I messaged my friend to inform her I would rather clean a nasty gas station womens' restroom's toilet than clean one man's private toilet. I don't know how they can lift the seat, see what I see and not vomit! And are they blind to stuff growing around the edge of the water?! When there is a dark ring around the edge of the water, find some toilet cleaner! And for goodness sakes, if you don't know where it is or how to use it, come find me. I would rather clean it then instead of three weeks later when I stumble upon cleaning a restroom I don't use.

I've always said I don't want daughters; I want all boys.

God, while you read my blog, please hear my cry. I don't know what I was thinking. I would love to have a daughter or two.
Love,
Your toilet cleaning, dishwasher loading, daily hardwood floor cleaning daughter,
Jenn Jenn

You Make Me Smile

Things that put a smile on my face today:

1) Beautiful Sunrise this morning
2) My memaw's laugh
3) While working out this morning, when I looked out the window there were golfers everywhere!
4)Looking up this afternoon, there was not one cloud in sight.
5)Lunch with my Kristie on the patio at On the Border
6)Jeff came home wearing a Yankees hat (not only did it make me smile, but it melted my heart too!)
7) Finding the Arkansas vs. LSU baseball game on tv
8)Finally hearing my favorite sound in the world....the sound when the ball hits the baseball bat!

Its here! Its here! It's finally here! I love baseball season!

Headlines

Our home page for Internet Explorer is msn.com. So every now and then, I stop and glance around at the headlines on there. Today as I was looking at all the different headlines, there were a few which caught my eye. Of course, I didn't actually click the story and read it. I just developed thoughts based only on the headlines. So I thought this would be a great place to share!

The first headline simply read "She wants to be fat".
Well, okay. She wants to be fat? What's your point? I know people who want to have a manicure at all times, but they don't get a headline on msn.com. I know a lot of people who were once upon a time part of a tanorexic community I was involved in. They don't have a headline either. I mean seriously, if she wants to be fat, let her be fat. I'm sure she knows her weight makes her 'at risk' for certain things, but so does being tan. And spending time in a toxic nail salon once a week probably isn't at the top of the 'Healthiest things to do" list. Calm down. She wants to be fat. Great! At least she knows what she wants. Not many people now days can say the same for themselves.

Next...
"Ohio woman gets married, has baby on same day"
Again, I think, "What's your point?" Is this really that rare? I know this isn't the way it is supposed to happen traditionally. I know 'Thou shall not commit adultery.' I believe in this principle. But, about the time I knew what adultery was I think I also knew what a shotgun wedding was. I think I am just very very confused as to why this is a headline. Apparently, that day in Ohio was very uneventful if that was the headline. So strange...

This one made me giggle...
"U.S. health survey; Too few exercise, Too many smoke"
Well, ya don't say? I mean who would have guessed this?! Oh wait, that's right half the commercials on tv say the same thing! Hmmm....what are the odds? Too few exercise. Yes, we know. We realized this when the latest diet commercial was for the TACO BELL DRIVE THRU! Too many smoke. Well duh...if there is a surgeon general's warning on the side of a product annoucing its link to cancer, isn't one person consuming that product, one too many?

I was a journalism major. I was taught when writing articles, the headline has to be the attention grabber. People read articles with interesting headlines or something catching their interest. After spending time working for a newspaper, I guess some people forget or get in a hurry and just decide to state the obvious. Whatever works.

Oh goodness

So I had my very first allergy shot today.

I've always had pretty severe allergies. But last year was the first time in all of my 22 years I had seen an allergist. For a year, she decided allergy shots were probably not the best idea for me, because I have such severe reactions.

Earlier in the month, she decided it may be beneficial for me to start allergy shots. She was thinking if we started my dilution in a 1:1,000,000 ratio, it wouldn't bother me as bad. So I agreed. It sounded like with those numbers, surely I would be okay.

The past few weeks, no minute I spend outside goes unpunished. Even if I only spend ten minutes outside, when I get inside I will have hives and congestion. When I told the nurses this last week, she said I needed to start my shots soon because they would help with this. So yesterday, I went to the park with my husband, sisters, niece, and nephew. It may have been a pretty day to take pictures, but it wasn't a pretty day for me and my oh so active allergies. So this morning, I woke up with a super bad sinus headache. I remembered what the nurse had said about the shots, so I decided today would be a good day for my first shot.

Ha.

Before she even picks up the needle, I ask the nurse if I will have a reaction (because of how sensitive my allergies seem these days). She reassures me it is almost all water in this injection, and since I have been taking plenty of allergy medicine, I will be fine. Plus, after every shot, every patient must stay for twenty minutes before leaving. So as I walk back to my chair, I remind myself, " Mind over matter. Mind over matter. Mind over matter."

After fifteen minutes of hacking, congestion building up, tight chest and the now present numbness, I decide to tell the nurse things don't seem normal. After an Alavert, Singulair, Epi, and a breathing treatment, I'm laying on the patient table trying not scratch my hands off. My allergist soon comes down the hallway to look behind the curtain covering her most loyal patient, me. :)

She simply says, "I should have known."

Of course she should have. Why in the world would my body choose now to react to something like the average person's body? I must be crazy to think what helps other people with their allergies would help with my own.

NOTE TO SELF: Next time you expect your body to respond to treatment based on the response of an average human, simply look in the mirror. If a mirror is unavailable, remember the thickness of your medical chart.

The Ladies Room

There are a lot of good places for new technology. I'm sure NASA gets excited about tiny computers. Best Buy likes it when the newest technology gadgets are all the rage. And I have to admit, I like it when my doctors are on top of what's new in medical techology. But there is one place I just can NOT handle technology.

Public restrooms are not where I want to meet the newest smartest invention of geeks-r-us! I understand automatic stuff means less germs floating around on less surfaces; I get it. I just think there are better places for these devices. Let me take a moment to tell you why.

First, let's talk about the automatic flushing. It never goes off at the right time. When I sit down on the toilet is not when I want it to get rid of the urine belonging to the person in the stall before me. When it flushes because I shifted my weight to the other side is not code for 'Automatic toilet: Flush now and spray my bottom with water splashing up.'

Then, as if the toilet is not enough to make my blood boil, the sink is motion activated. Oh yay! To get the sink to work, you must make sure you put your hand in the perfect spot and not move from that spot while you try to get all the suds of your hand. ( I admit this one doesn't bother me as much as the others but I would still rather turn the handle myself. ) I think these sinks can not go into businesses if they have normal water pressure. The water coming out of these sinks is either a small trickle requiring five to ten minutes to get the soap off or a quick burst-like waterfall that not only rinses your hands of soap but your clothes and any surface within a 3 foot radius.

And finally, the part I hate the most. The automatic paper towel dispenser. When I see these in a restroom, I just pray I am the only one in there. Because I know if I want to use paper towels to dry my hands, it is going to be a challenge. And not a challenge I want any other people to see. I have to do the chicken dance just to get half a paper towel out. And as I am waving my hands around trying to dry my hands, I actually am thinking, "I can't believe I'm doing this, I must be nuts!"

So to all the new technology and geeks-r-us employees, please leave all of your things somewhere other than a public restroom. It would be delightful if I could simply take care of business without your spraying, dance-requiring, perfect spot staying self. Thanks.

Random

Last week, I had my KayKay for a day. (side note: she is four and a half) Before lunch, I thought we could play uno. I figured she could play since it is just matching colors and numbers. I didn't spare any instructions. She beat me four times. FOUR TIMES!

The more I think about it, the more I realize I love the Sara Bareilles cd. It's fun to sing, and some of the lyrics make me giggle. I like that.

I have an addiction to Starbucks. It's a nasty habit. I don't always wake up thinking, "Where are my keys and wallet?" But if I see someone with a Starbucks drink on a day I didn't think that, I will be in the nearest drive thru in less than 5 minutes. Thank goodness I live in a place where I can think of at least 5 Starbucks locations within a 5 mile radius.

I have two dogs. A yorkie and a schnauzer. Both of them are boys. After my husband leaves for work, they come get in the bed with me. We have a king size bed. Yet every morning, I wake up with both of them practically under me squished into a single foot of our monster bed. I don't get it.

Two days before I got married, my side of the family was gathered at my grandparents' house. At the time, KayKay was three. She was playing on the floor when I heard her pass gas. I laughed and said, "KayKay, you pooted." With the sincerest face and innocent eyes, she looked at me and said, "No I didn't. I farted."

Good Stuff....

Some days...okay maybe a lot of days...I have a hard time finding my motivation. And some days, I have a hard time remembering this life is not about me. I forget the reason I was created was to bring honor, glory, and praise to my God. There are days when I struggle with putting God before all of my selfish desires. And on those days, I always need some good encouragement. To make sure today is a day I remember I am God's child, and I exist for him alone, I have been (and will continue) to listen to this song and repeat this scripture over and over and over and over and over......

In Christ Alone

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand


2 Corinthians 4:7-11,16,17

7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

Some things

Things I should accomplish before I'm 30

1. Sky dive
2. Visit the new Yankee Stadium
3. Finish college (????)
4. Go overseas for a mission trip (preferably China)
5. Get rid of Starbuck's addiction
6. Develop better laundry habits
7. Beat all 8 worlds of Super Mario 3
8. Make sure my husband is confident he is none other than My very own, personal knight in shining armor.
9. Wakeboard
10. Take a cruise.

Things I must always have in my kitchen

1. Peter Pan Honey Roasted Creamy peanut butter
2. Caffeine free Diet Coke
3. Chicken
4. BREAD
5. grape jelly
6. Sweet 'N Low
7. Tony's
8. crackers of some kind
9. cereal (preferably Lucky Charms or Cinnamon Toast Crunch
10. Cinnamon
11. Crescent rolls
12. Cream cheese

Things I hope to do today

1. Praise My King
2. Make my husband smile
3. Give my daddy a big fat hug
4. Not just tell, but show my mama I love her
5. Start reading another book.
6. Beat Jeff and Lucas both at some game
7. Cook a delicious dinner
8. Remind some of my friends how great they are
9. Watch the new Law & Order SVU recorded on the DVR
10. Show someone I don't know God's love

I yam what I yam

About this time last year, I had a severe allergic reaction to soy. It happend on a Sunday night. On Monday, I went to my allergist still having difficulties breathing. After they had given me epi and several breathing treatments, they decided it would be best if I went to the emergency room. So I was transmitted from the clinic to the hospital in the ambulance. After an afternoon in the emergency room, they sent me home. They felt all my levels were 'normal' enough for me to be sickly in my own bed. By Wednesday, I had been to the ER three times and had to be admitted to the hospital for the rest of the week.

During the week, I developed a pretty good relationship with my allergist. While I was in the hospital, she would come see me two or three times a day. This impressed me because she is the only doctor at a very busy allergy and asthma clinic. When she saw me wearing LSU attire, I found out she was from Louisiana. So we were also able to bond about the Tigers.

So over the past year I have been seeing this allergist, she has developed an interest in me and my health (or lack there of). She is intrigued by the number of autoimmune diseases and the severity of my allergies at my age. She seems to have a desire to figure out why I am plagued with Crohn's disease, Interstitial Cystitis, and bad allergies. I just decided I was a sick kid cause God made me that way. I didn't think there were any deep medical mysteries behind all my diseases. But apparently, I was wrong.

The last time I went to see her, she told me she wanted to do several different blood tests. A week after they sent everything off, they called me to tell me they had all the results. The nurse said, "We have your results. We don't want you to worry, but we would like for you to make an appointment to discuss everything with the doctor." So I made an appointment. The next day, the doctor called me herself. She was calling to see if anyone had called to talk to me about the results. I repeated to her what the nurse had told me. She told me I had some levels (of some cells I can't remember) which we low but they were commonly low in adults. One was tetanus and the other had something to do with yeast. She asked me if I had problems with yeast, and of course, I had to say yes. She told me the low levels of this whatever explained why. She then told me she found other things which were abnormal but they were 'funky' so she would rather talk to me in person.

So yesterday was my appointment. She was hoping to find out if all of my problems were somehow linked together. Especially since Crohn's is an inflammatory bowel disease and Interstital Cystitis is when the lining of the bladder is inflammed. When she came in, she gave me a copy of the report/summary she had typed to send to all my other doctors. With all the things she had tested, she was hoping to find levels suggesting I have common variable immunodeficiency. She wasn't so lucky. All of my levels were the exact opposite. This wasn't good news (or bad). She informed me, "It just means things with you aren't normal, but there is no name for it."

Well isn't this just the story of me and my entire existence for 23 years. I am not normal. There is nothing we can blame or label. I just am the way I am. I don't think I needed a doctor to tell me that. Oh well, at least now she knows what my family and I have known for 23 years.

Aren't you jealous you aren't me?

I Couldn't Believe my Eyes!

Teenagers are special. Very special. There really aren't many great words to describe them other than 'teenagers'. Lately, I have been watching my little sister (who happens to be one of the most mature teenagers I've ever known) and my nephew who just moved in. It's strange watching teenagers. It wasn't too long ago when I myself was a teenager. And I would like to take a moment to say, to anyone who knew me when I was a teenager, I'm so sorry.

They are teenagers so I don't think there is anything anyone can do about it but observe and learn. But they have a very different view on life, family and priorities. Family is not always the most important to a teenager, simply because family is *cringe* embarrassing. And, there is never ever a moment which goes according to a teen's plan. Life stinks. There is school and chores and parents. And then food and sleep creep in every now and then. But not nearly as much as it should. And then back to school, chores and parents. And since family is usually embarrassing or not fun to endure as a teenager, the same routine is not a happy one.

Today I witnessed the strangest thing I have ever seen. It was absolutely breath-taking. I had the pleasure of coaching 5 year olds in Upward cheerleading. Tonight was our awards celebration. For the entertainment, they had a family who did a 'spin-tacular' show. It was a family of 12 kids. The dad has been in the book of world records four times for various basketball tricks. They had a 17 year old daughter who was a part of their show. Seventeen year old girl. Performing with family. Whatever mental picture you just had, delete it from memory. SHE WAS HAPPY! Sincerely happy. You could tell by every move she made, she enjoyed what she was doing, she loved her family, and she herself was happy. When the performance was over, I could not wait to talk to the girl with a huge grin covering her face. So when I finally snagged a moment of her time, of course my first question was an inquiry of her age. My mouth dropped when she said 17.

Even though that was over an hour ago, I am still in shock. It was so refreshing to see a teenager enjoy her family. A family who is by no means normal ( I mean this is a good way. ) and makes money based on their performance as a family. It was refreshing to not hear one sarcastic comment come out of her mouth. It was refreshing to watch her hug her family with a sincere smile behind scenes. And when a younger sibling accomplished a stunt on the court, she smiled out of pride!

Hopefully, I was not the only one who noticed this delightful teenager. Maybe some kids noticed how she acted. Happy as a teenager! Wow!

Perfection

Every now and then, I stumble across something I think is absolutely perfect for me. On May 4, 2008, I met a man who is perfect for me. :) A few weeks after, I found a song perfect for our relationship. A few months later, I found a dress perfect for our wedding. The day I found the perfect dress, he found the perfect ring for me.

Sometimes I go months before I find something I think is perfect. Sometimes its only a matter of days. My recent find of perfection came from someone I have known since pre-school. Growing up, I had a super talented friend named Brittany. Anyone who knows her, knows she is one of a kind. I honestly can not remember a time when she had any piece of artwork that was considered less than amazing.

Last week, I found some recent artwork she had done in a form I had not seen her create before. Even though I had never seen her work in this area before, it was still just as amazing as anything else she has ever created. So I asked her if she would put her new outlet to use on my page. And it is perfect!

Brittany Miller is the creator of the new design on my page. If you know me, as you look at this background you know it is perfect for me! I encourage you to check out her page and the different things she has done. Here is address to her blog, www.brittanyartist.blogspot.com Check it out!

Ohh Ms. Julia

Once a month, sometimes twice, I meet with a group of ladies discussing education for women. I have a great time. There are anywhere from 15-20 ladies at each meeting. I am by far the youngest of all the ladies. The next up in age is at least 25 years older than me. It always makes me laugh because I can relate to these women more than I can to women of my own age. This truth does not bother me at all, because these ladies are amazing. They are all so funny, honest, sweet, genuine, and actually interested in each other's lives.

When with these women, I always find myself in the middle of every conversation and never at a loss for words. We talk about the medicines we take, the parts of our body hurting us at the moment, foods we can or can not eat, and our recent trips to doctors. After all of this, we usually move on to the weather, the news,our men, our families, our church and then our dogs. Being the youngest of all of these lovely ladies, I tend to spend a lot of time answering questions about 'these days'. Especially since they are all more comfortable in 'those days'. But being the youngest of a group of ladies that range from 23-94 is actually fun.

This past meeting, I was able to get to know one of these ladies a little bit better. I had met her, seen her, and talked to her on several occasions. I just hadn't really spent a lot of time getting to know her. While talking about our health, the questions were shifted to her. Most everyone was complementing her for being there because she is now 92. Let's call her Julia. Julia can't always hear the best, but she is in the middle of everything! She is the head of several committees and always dressed her best. She is on oxygen, she doesn't carry around a tank. No, she keeps her's in a very stylish bag. (In ten years, when I'm on oxygen this is who I plan to imitate.)

When the conversation shifted to her, everyone was at first asking her how she was doing. She insisted she was doing very well. One lady, a fellow church member of Julia, asked her about her latest with the doctor because she heard she might be on the prayer list. Julia quickly replied, "No. I told them not to waste their prayers on me, because I go to the casino three times a week."

On our way home from the meeting, I was talking with the lady who I rode with. Let's call her Claire. As we were talking about Ms. Julia, I told my neighbor how funny I thought Ms. Julia was. She began to tell me another story about her. Apparently, Ms. Julia was not always the size she is now. She has recently lost a lot of weight. Before she lost all the weight, Claire invited Julia over for coffee. Claire knew how much Julia liked to eat, so she made a loaf of banana bread.

After the first cup of coffee and a piece of bread, Claire offered Julia another cup and slice of bread. Julia said, 'No, I just started a diet. So only bring me two more pieces.' A few minutes later after Julia had consumed most of the bread, Claire inquired about Julia's new diet. Julia quickly informed her it was a VERY strict diet. It was so strict Julia could only go to Braum's 2 times a week now for biscuits and gravy.

When I am 92, hopefully I will remember Ms. Julia and apply her theories to life.

If I only knew...

Two weeks ago, my husband and I made a change. A big change. After a lot of prayer and careful consideration, we told our 14 year old nephew he could move in with us. He had been living in Louisiana with the rest of his family, but he needed a fresh start. Remembering my years of struggles, I told my husband, if I were in our nephew's shoes, I would want someone to open their arms and their home for me.

So we did.

What an eventful two weeks it has been! There have been great times, scary times, sad times, exciting times, fun times, and I have felt every emotion humanly possible. Our nephew is a great kid. He has an amazing personality and is extremely talented. The first day we went to pick him up from school, we couldn't see him coming out. Finally, he emerged in the middle of a swarm of middle school girls. It amazes me the way these girls just flock to him.

Over the past two weeks, I have learned so much I can't believe my brain hasn't pushed itself out of my skull. First, just when I thought I understood how bad I hurt my parents in high school with my awful attitude, I realized I only understood about 10% of what they felt. Second, living with two boys is not the same as growing up in a house full of girls. It is just so much harder to keep the house smelling nice instead of that awful 'fart, body odor, and dog doo' mixture. Third, there are reasons cliches are cliches. Who knew (besides anyone with a child) when a child is getting a spanking, it REALLY does hurt the parent more than the child.

It has only been two weeks with a 14 year old boy in the house, and I am already seeing things in a whole new light. I can't imagine what raising a child from birth would uncover. But one thing I do know is I will never in a million years be able to repay my parents for all the love, mercy and grace they gave me. I never realized just how fortunate I was to grow up in a loving, Christian home. I can only hope to take all the things my parents did and apply them in a way where one day, maybe I could be half as great to my kids (or nephew) as they were to me.

Reacting to Public Apologies

I love sports. Over the past year and a half, I have especially grown to love golf. In learning to like golf, I, like many others, began to respect and admire Tiger Woods. So when I saw the news starting on black friday, I began to feel disappointment towards him, until today.

When I was in high school, I made some big mistakes. Part of dealing with those consequences was standing in front of my church and asking for forgiveness for my inappropriate actions. For anyone who has ever had to give a public apology, they know it is a very humbling experience. An experience not easily forgotten and teaching humility and character.

Over the years, I have had many people I look up to make irresponsible decisions in the public eye. I watched as Dana Jacobson had to issue a similar statement. And also Alex Rodriguez. After these figures issue a public response to their actions, the media reacts. Sometimes in a positive way, and sometimes in a negative way.

As a Christian and as someone who has been in the same position, I believe when someone has the courage to stand up and admit their mistakes, they deserve public forgiveness. It is not my place to decide whether anything said was sincere or not, it is only my place to not hold a grudge. Everyone makes mistakes. In our eyes, some mistakes are bigger than others. Our eyes, however, are not perfect. The reality is all sin is the same in God's eyes.

When a public apology is made, set aside all personal judgements and simply forgive. In the event, you, for some strange reason, end up on the other side of this situation, you would want the same courtesy extended to you. So to Dana Jacobson, Alex Rodriguez, and now Tiger Woods, I appreciate your apology. And I forgive you (even if you don't need or want my forgiveness). And I thank you for standing up in front of the world to admit your mistake and seek out forgivess.

'...an old car.'

It is here again. The week that comes every 3-6 months filled with check up and follow up appointments. I wasn’t exactly dreading the week ahead, but after my first appointment maybe I should be. First stop this week, the gynecologist. YAY!

What a wonderful way to start a Monday morning. At least this appointment wasn’t one where I was going to lose every ounce of pride I’ve gained since the last time I came here. Well not at least because someone would be examining all my goodies today. Last month, my doctor changed my Zoloft to prozac. I am a creature of habit, so I despise change. I was desperately looking forward to this appointment to get back on Zoloft. Prozac was not the most delightful change for me.

My bubbly doctor enters the room with his normal perky greeting. Today he is accompanied by two beautiful women, both intimidatingly beautiful. Glad I’m keeping on my clothes today. The nurse practioner and physician’s assistant’s beauty would make any average woman’s self esteem drop 4 points just being in the same room with them, not to mention how comforting it would be to have these two checking out all the imperfections with my goods.

Our conversation begins with me telling my doctor I think my lovely Interstitial Cystitis is bothering me again. To make sure I don’t leave with any integrity, he proceeds to prescribe me with the most popular bladder control pill among t.v. commercials today. Hopefully, they understand what IC actually is and realize I’m not peeing my pants on a daily basis. Yet. Next, we talk about the happy pills. After I tell him the new one makes me cry more than normal, I politely tell him I would like to be on Zoloft again. We tried the change. I did not think it was pleasant. Moving on. Now I begin to tell him recently I have been having migraines and trouble with my Crohn’s disease.

As he is telling me the changes we are going to make on my daily medicines, he begins to explain to me why I haven’t been feeling so good lately. I had told him I worked too much over the holidays and didn’t get enough rest. Complete truth. Apparently, this doctor is so comfortable with me he feels he can say exactly what he is thinking. I don’t know if that is flattering or not. He proceeds to tell me I am like an old car. I run well at slow speeds, but when I begin to run too fast, I get ‘rickety and shaky’. I should stay within the safe speeds. Wow. Precious.

NOTE TO SELF: Never enter a gynecologist appointment thinking it won’t be THAT bad.

yeah......okay.......

At six a.m., there is not much on tv. But lucky for me, this morning there was actually something worth leaving the tv on to watch. (Or to glance up at sparatically when I get tired of looking at the computer screen) Maybe I should be embarrassed about what it is I'm watching. I, however, grew up with a momma who makes life a little more interesting by never being embarrassed, and it rubbed off on me. So I'm watching High School Musical 3.

I have never really been one to enjoy musical movies. The only ones I like are old cartoon Disney classics like Aladdin and Beauty and the Beast. But Rent, or Hairspray, or Mamma Mia!, and all those movies do not interest me one ounce. And this morning, while I was watching (occasionally looking at) HSM 3 I realized why I don't like them.

I like to watch things which could be real. So I have an extremely hard time finding an element in a musical I can connect to. I mean, seriously, who goes around and at any given moment just busts out a ballad and starts dancing and then everyone around joins in singing and dancing. I mean a lot of crazy things happend at lunch during my imprisonment at high school, but there was nobody dancing on a table busting out a random song which just happens to fit whatever situation perfectly.

I mean growing up we would bust out in random song, but it was just me and my sisters being crazy and goofing around. (HA! growing up....yeah we might still do that every now and then...) Even then, it was a song we already knew. And the only way we ALL sang, was if we all knew it. Some of these songs are the thoughts of characters and yet everyone around them just joins in. (I guess this would be possible if everyone had a group of fortune telling friends.)

All this to say, musicals aren't my thing. They seem to be more of a comedy to me, because life just doesn't happen like that. There isn't always a climax in everyday rountines, because sometimes its just boring. There isn't always a one specific moment of glory. There isn't always a happy ending simply because not everybody is as lucky as me.............:)

Is that a fat joke?

My freshman year at University of Arkansas was the first time of my life I ever studied for a class. Fall midterms were approaching fast, so my roommate and I decided to study early. One night, we locked ourselves in our dorm room saturating our minds with as much information as we could. After I was confident I had absorbed all the western civilization my brain would allow, I decided we needed a break. A much needed break. And from the sound of my stomach, we also needed a snack.

After studying for so long uninterrupted, we deserved a reward. What better than Krispy Kreme? And not the Krispy Kreme you can get at a gas station or walmart. No, it had to be a “HOT NOW” Krispy Kreme. So what if there nearest Krispy Kreme was in Rogers and we were in Fayetteville?! Making sure it wouldn’t be a wasted trip, I called to make sure they were open late. We were in luck. It was 9:45 p.m., and they closed at 11 p.m.

We had been in the car for about 25 minutes, and since I knew we were getting close I was getting excited. It wouldn’t be long before the warm, sweet, melting goodness would be in my mouth and contributing to the dreaded “Freshman 15”. I saw the first sign boasting the restaurants lining Exit 85. Almost there. As I was about to tap the brake to turn the cruise off, I saw a car pulled over with its flashers on. Then I noticed the driver standing next to the car waving his arms around like he was swatting at an invisible swarm of bees. We were two teenage girls. No way we were stopping to help a crazy person and their car troubles. Even if we had known anything about cars, we were to close to the donuts to stop now.

Before I could process the words to tell my friend, “There is an idiot on the side of the road flailing his arms around,” I saw a big strange object in the road. I did not know what it was, but I knew it was not supposed to be in the middle of the interstate. Quickly as I could, I swerved the car to miss whatever this foreign object was. I wasn’t fast enough. Although I swerved, I still felt it hit the car. I spun around and finally came to a stop in the median.

After I felt around and realized I was still alive, I looked to make sure my best friend was still breathing as well. She looked as confused as I did so I knew she was okay. The look on her face told me her brain was still working. As I figured out she was fine, my worry shifted for my car. I knew that every tire I had was blown, not to mention the pile of scrap metal I was certain my car had become in less than ten seconds. I got out of the car to find every tire looked perfect. Not only were the tires fine, the only thing wrong with my car was a small dent on the front right bumper. Still confused, I looked to the idiot with flailing arms who was now running towards me. I knew he saw what had just happened so maybe he could tell me what I hit.

There was no way I could ever prepare myself mentally for what I was about to hear. I yelled at the stranger asking him what I had just hit.

“A chair,” he informed me.

“Really?! What kind of chair makes that kind of dent?”

“An ab lounge.”

An ab lounge. Seriously? AN AB LOUNGE!?! Suddenly my head was filled with all sorts of questions. Why is there an ab lounge in the road? How did it get there? What did my car do to deserve a beating from a late night infomercial? Why wait until I was so close to my destination?

After exchanging insurance information, I got back in the car to drive away.

“What do I do now?” I asked my roommate.

“Get Krispy Kremes,” she replies with a dumbfound ‘duh’ expression all over her face.

As I pulled in the parking lot at Krispy Kreme, I finally let go of every tear I had been holding in since my car started spinning. My friend let me cry for a few minutes, sure it was just a reaction from the stress of the situation. After what she thought was long enough to let me cry without interruption, she finally said, “Its okay, honey.”

“No it isn’t,” I replied.

“It isn’t that bad. He said he would pay to have the damage fixed,” she reminded me.

“Its not that.”

Assuming I would have finished the thought already, she asked, “Well what is it?”

And then came the startling realization leading to my never ending waterfall of tears. “God thinks I’m fat. We were going to get donuts, and what does he do? He throws exercise equipment at my car. This is like the ultimate fat joke…”

NOTE TO SELF: Next time you feel the need to drive 30 minutes out of your way to get “HOT NOW” donuts, don’t.

I jumped on the bandwagon...

I have been stubborn for as long as I can remember. I am just stubborn enough that when everyone else is putting something crazy on their facebook status, I won't. Just because they are. Or if everyone changes their picture to their celebrity look a like, I won't do that either. (And not just because I don't have a celebrity look a like) However, there is one facebook trend that caught my eye. I didn't post it on my facebook status ( so maybe it doesn't count as jumping on the bandwagon). But I am posting it on here, because I am amazed at how true it is.

So I read where you can go to urbandictionary.com and put your name in, and it will give you a 'definition'. So my curiousity go the best of me, and I did it. I have to share it, because it is so true its crazy!

Jennifer: a fun, outgoing person. generally smart but can be a total blonde at times. someone who likes meeting new people, and smiles a lot. a person who never would just turn on people. a very good friend. someone you can trust. when she's mad, stand clear she might blow her top. but a person who doesn't get mad easily so you dont have to worry about that.

And if that isn't enough.....

Danielle:A.)Traditional; Feminine form of Daniel, meaning 'Judged only by GOD.' B.) Intense, firey female Possessing ability to affect person, place, and immediate surrounding environment. Frequently manifesting such conflicting extremes that the outcome is typically one of lucidity or confusion. The conflict(s) can occur consecutively, concurrent or separate. Other characteristics of Danielle are; abundance of curly locks of hair (red?), kalidescope eyes, descernible voice capable of pitch, tone and volume that cracks Ice, shatters glass, and renders those in ear-shot stunned for moment. Danielle is synonymous with Tardy i;e, NEVER EVER, ever on time generally DST (Danielle Standard Time) run's within a 3 hour conversion =/- ( due at 2 pm will not arrive prior to 2:30 PM but usually by 5PM or somewhere in between)
'DANIELLE' your mostfearless, strong and loyal friend for life, or your most feared, relentless mortal enemy.

wow........

And it really makes me wonder....

What a strange day it has been....

I have felt such a wide range of emotions today. It doesn't even seem like it can all fit into one day. It feels more like a strange week. But I'm pretty sure everything took place within one twelve hour period. Although today was weird, I will take a few mental notes I gathered throughout the day.

Mental Note #1 - Mommas are wonderful. They should not be taken for granted. They like suprises. But next time when pondering what the suprise should be, think. Example: If your mom just told you she is working on her blood pressure (starting a new diet, taking new medicines, things like that...), take flowers instead of a breakfast that consists of 3000 calories.

Mental Note #2 - When you feel like a bad mood is coming on, don't drag it out just because you are a girl. Or because your hormones are nuts. Or just because you can. You don't know what the rest of the day will hold. And maybe, JUST MAYBE, you and your crabby attitude is the last thing someone else needs in their day.

Mental Note #3 - NEVER under estimate the joy a four year old can bring you. As if the eyes and the smile aren't enough, they always end up saying the one thing that seems to get through and melt your heart.

Mental Note #4 - Be a friend. Be a friend to your mom, your dad, your sister, your brother, your cousin, your spouse, your neighbor. And while you are being a friend, remember a friend loves at ALL times.

Mental Note #5 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean NOT on your own understanding. In ALL your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.

Why, why, why

Earlier today, I told my precious husband I started a blog. After his sarcastic ranting of how he doesn't even know me anymore, he asked me why I started a blog. It got me thinking, and I figured the answer to that question is probably important.

Although I am only 23 years old, I have done things and learned things most people my age don't get to until they are in their late 20s or 30s. I'm a little old for my age. And not just in maturity. My insides are old too. I always joke about having the insides of a 99 year old woman. I have Crohn's disease, interstitial cystitis, severe allergies (joy!) and the occasional asthma. Also, I had a exploratory surgery looking to see if I have endometriosis. At the time, the dr said he found nothing. However, every visit since then he has said I do have it. So in december of '06 I didn't have it, but last week he said I did. Add it to the list, I suppose.

Anyway, like most kids, in high school and my first year or two of college I rebelled. A LOT. It wasn't until I started getting sick, I began to change the way I live. When I was finally brought to my knees and changed, I realized just how big of a mess I had made my life.

Three years ago, I spent one restless night at my parents' house. I couldn't sleep. And I remember crying and being frustrated with every part of me. I was raised in a Christian home and I knew how to pray. But somehow I had forgotten what a real relationship with God was. That night, My God reached down and pulled me out of my pit. It was not until then I discovered the true meaning of grace and mercy.

As I began to bask in the love God poured out on me, I made him a promise. For as long as I live, I will share my experience with whoever needs it. No matter what the cost, I won't hold anything about His love, grace, or mercy back. He did not share it with me to hoard. He allowed me to experience Him so I could share with others. So that is why....

Cold, Cold, Go away

Today, if you were standing in my shoes, your feet would be fahreezing! I'm so ready for the spring. Is the snow pretty? Of course. But is one day enough of it? YES! Bring on the warm fronts! You ever get a gift at Christmas you wanted more than anything and as soon as you opened the present all you wanted to do was tear in to it? I got one of those gifts this year...PINK GOLF CLUBS! So since I am so excited to use them, I have seen more snow since Christmas than I have seen in all twenty three of my previous years combined! Of course we get all this snow since I actually want to be outside on the greens. So again I say, Bring on the warm fronts!