Open Mouth. Insert Foot.

Around our house, we constantly battle our toilets. By we, I mean my husband and nephew. You can almost bet every time they spend more than five minutes in the restroom, you had better find the plunger. I like to joke about it, but I have to admit – when I feel Crohn’s coming on, I don’t want to spend time on a toilet already clogged.

After a lot of taunting and teasing around the house, I began to see the root of the problem. Because I have Crohn’s disease, I spend a lot of time bonding with toilet paper. So after a few years of Crohn’s disease, I only want soft toilet paper. Unfortunately, most soft toilet paper is thick. This fact has never been a problem for me. I’ve never had issues with the toilets in this house. However, the boys just can’t seem to win the battle with the toilet. I finally realized they were using a whole roll every time they go!

Of course, like a man, they both say they don’t use that much. Okay. I believe you. 
A few days after this brilliant discovery, I go to put my hair in a ponytail before going out for breakfast. As I walk in to the bathroom, Jeff is finishing his morning business. As I finish my hair, I turn around and see my husband pulling half a roll off the paper!

In shock, I yell, “Jeff, that’s a ton of toilet paper!”

In response, he yells back, “You’re a ton!”

Wow. Just what every woman wants to hear from their husband when they have been awake a whole ten minutes.

Open Mouth. Insert Foot.