The Ladies Room

There are a lot of good places for new technology. I'm sure NASA gets excited about tiny computers. Best Buy likes it when the newest technology gadgets are all the rage. And I have to admit, I like it when my doctors are on top of what's new in medical techology. But there is one place I just can NOT handle technology.

Public restrooms are not where I want to meet the newest smartest invention of geeks-r-us! I understand automatic stuff means less germs floating around on less surfaces; I get it. I just think there are better places for these devices. Let me take a moment to tell you why.

First, let's talk about the automatic flushing. It never goes off at the right time. When I sit down on the toilet is not when I want it to get rid of the urine belonging to the person in the stall before me. When it flushes because I shifted my weight to the other side is not code for 'Automatic toilet: Flush now and spray my bottom with water splashing up.'

Then, as if the toilet is not enough to make my blood boil, the sink is motion activated. Oh yay! To get the sink to work, you must make sure you put your hand in the perfect spot and not move from that spot while you try to get all the suds of your hand. ( I admit this one doesn't bother me as much as the others but I would still rather turn the handle myself. ) I think these sinks can not go into businesses if they have normal water pressure. The water coming out of these sinks is either a small trickle requiring five to ten minutes to get the soap off or a quick burst-like waterfall that not only rinses your hands of soap but your clothes and any surface within a 3 foot radius.

And finally, the part I hate the most. The automatic paper towel dispenser. When I see these in a restroom, I just pray I am the only one in there. Because I know if I want to use paper towels to dry my hands, it is going to be a challenge. And not a challenge I want any other people to see. I have to do the chicken dance just to get half a paper towel out. And as I am waving my hands around trying to dry my hands, I actually am thinking, "I can't believe I'm doing this, I must be nuts!"

So to all the new technology and geeks-r-us employees, please leave all of your things somewhere other than a public restroom. It would be delightful if I could simply take care of business without your spraying, dance-requiring, perfect spot staying self. Thanks.