Murder at 1600

This specific blog has been a long time coming, but I thought it only fair to wait until the wrong had been made right before I wrote about it...

A few weeks after my precious husband proposed to me, he bought me an iPhone. He said he knew I would be on his cell plan eventually anyway, so one weekend he bought it for me. For anyone who knows my history with cell phones, they also know this was a very brave purchase on Jeffy's part. Once I actually flushed an entire cell phone down the toilet. That's right. Not just dropped it in the toilet, but actually flushed it! So having an iPhone was a very big deal to me!

I knew I was going to have to be more careful than I ever dreamed with this phone. And I did so good! I had the phone for a year and a half before I ever had any catastrophe with it! Within two weeks of having an iPhone, I (like most people who own one) became so dependent on it. I had no idea how much I actually used it for. One Sunday afternoon, I had to go to the grocery store to pick up some things for dinner. When I got home, I hopped out of the car. Until I heard it hit the ground, I had forgotten I put my phone in my lap when I sat down. When I picked the phone up off of the garage floor, my heart jumped right up into my throat. The bottom left corner of the phone was shattered.

I hadn't felt that feeling in such a long time. It was the feeling I would get as a teenager when I knew I was caught, and I was just waiting to see how severe the sentencing would be. When I came in Jeffy was asleep. So I woke him just enough to say, "I have something to tell you. Do you want to know now or when you wake up?"

As he rolled over, he grunted, "What?"

So I told him what happened. He simply shrugged his shoulders and said, "It isn't my phone."

So like any girl, I crawled in bed to ball my eyes out. After he realized how upset I was, he rolled over and comforted me. We analyzed the phone and realized we could put a screen cover over it, and it would work until my upgrade in April. It was only the bottom so it didn't mess up much of the screen. So we just put a screen protector over it, and it worked fine. I was just glad I still had a working iPhone. I could handle the bottom of the screen being messed up for a couple more months.

Even though I could handle the bottom of the screen being messed up, apparently, Jeffy couldn’t. The following Wednesday, he informed me he had bought the parts to fix the phone off of ebay. I quickly released the nagging wife inside of me and demanded he cancel the order. He told me he wanted to fix it so when I did get my new phone we could sell the ‘broken but fixed’ one. I told him it was unnecessary and to cancel the order and quickly changed the subject.

The following Sunday was Super Bowl Sunday. We had offered to host our Sunday school class Super Bowl watch party, so I was cleaning house when Jeffy came in from work. As he walked in, he was grinning from ear to ear. He had received the parts I asked him not to order in to fix my phone. So I grunted and mumbled while handing over the phone for what he assured me ‘wouldn’t take that long because there was an instructional video on you-tube’. Great. Just great. But at this point, what could I do other than finish cleaning house and cooking?

The next two to three hours consisted of mumbled grunting under his breath. With every “crap” and “oh no”, the tone of his voice got angrier than the one before. Because we would have company in our house soon, I tried not to focus on anything he was saying or doing. Unfortunately, I was unable to avoid it much longer. I was just about to sit down, when I saw him grab his keys and storm out of the house. I could tell he was upset, so I decided I would leave him alone and call him in a few minutes to see what he was doing. It took me all of five seconds to realize I would not be calling him, because he had MY phone!

About twenty minutes later, he comes in with a twenty dollar go phone the size of a twinkie. For a person with a temper as outrageous as mine, I handled the next thirty minutes very well. Our conversation went a little something like this…

“What is that!?” I asked him.

“A phone for you to use until your upgrade!”

“JIGGA WHAT?!?!”

“Well, the video wasn’t very clear on which parts to pry apart!”

As he began to get the fireplace ready to start a fire before company arrived, he was still complaining and moaning. I quickly informed him there were only two things he could do with this situation.

1.Get over it! You still have YOUR iPhone and I am the one with the microscopic cell phone! Company would be arriving soon, so GET GLAD!
2.When your wife tells you to do something or in this case, NOT to do something, FOLLOW HER INSTRUCTIONS!

So since Super Bowl Sunday, I have been pestering my husband about murdering my iPhone. And in all honesty, I may nag him about it for the rest of our lives. But I feel it is only fair for me to post this story now since I now have an iPhone in my possession! Oh happy day!